Week Three, Lesson 1

So many lessons learned this week... Lesson 1: Sometimes, you just have to say good-bye. Manda has been telling me for several weeks now that I need to get new shoes because it is irritating to run next to me and hear my right shoe squeak. They are about a year and a half old but look like they are in excellent shape-very little visible wear. I only wear them on my runs so they look okay. But, as we are putting on more and more mileage each week and the runs are getting longer it was time to say good-bye and buy new shoes. Now normally, this is not a time of sadness for me. After all, I am all girl when it comes to shoes. Woo Hoo new shoes!!! (normally) However, it was a little sad at the thought of getting rid of my first "real" running shoes. These shoes have seen me through a lot of difficult challenges and have been with me through some big landmarks in my little running world. Plus... they are REALLY comfortable and fit my foot well. I decided to shop online and see if I could get an identical replacement, but as luck would have it I can't seem to find them.

So, I had to go with plan B and hit the sporting good stores to find the new perfect fit. Mission sort-of accomplished. I did walk away with a pair of cute new running shoes (that were a steal of a deal on sale). I tried them out on our next run which happened to be a 4 mile run and they felt pretty good. I tried on several pairs in the store and went with some Nike trail runners that had good feeling balance, absorbency and great arch support. They still aren't my good ole' Adidas that I have such fond memories with and I can certainly feel a difference in my toes. I have a somewhat wide foot and my new shoes are just a little more snug feeling on the front of my toes (width wise) and I feel it after completing my runs. It isn't too uncomfortable, but coming from my ole' reliable pair to the new ones I can feel a difference. Of course, I am sure that if I continued to wear my ole' squeakers it would catch up with me in my knees and hip. For now, the Nike's will have to do. Any suggestions out there from experience? Do you think my new shoes will "break in" and feel more comfortable or should I shop again and perhaps keep looking for my good ole' Adidas replacements?

One of my darling, "Running Hero" friends suggested that I write my mileage on the bottom of my shoes and save them. Sounds good... but I haven't been good at logging my mileage until recently. Something that I am learning is a pretty cool thing to keep track of. It is rewarding to see the miles that you have accomplished. My next pair will be retired with the mileage written on them! Maybe I will just write, "#1" on my ole' squeaky pair. Manda bought a pair of New Balance and she loves her new shoes, so at least one of us walked away content with the purchase. I think she'll end up missing "squeaky" though. Now the only squeaking she'll hear is my lungs during that first mile and half each time we run.

Lesson 2

Do you ever find that you have to learn the same lesson over and over again in life? I guess that it is a sign that you haven't really "learned" it if you have to be taught the same thing over and over and over and over again. This week, I learned or re-learned another life lesson. Same lesson, new application.

While casually talking on facebook with one of my "Running Hero" friends in Texas, he mentioned that he was on the waiting list for the Texas Martahon. Being the complete blond I am, it was going through my head, "Poor guy, that's too bad that he didn't get into the marathon that he wanted". Then panic hit, and I started thinking, "What is the name of the marathon that Amanda and I are planning on doing?" Followed by, "Oh no, I should check again on the registration process of OUR marathon!" Do I really need to go on? Yes, I am sure you have all figured out by now that the marathon that Manda and I were planning on running is called... you guessed it...THE TEXAS MARATHON. The event is full and registration is closed even though we are still several months away from the race. So, here we are in our 3rd week of training after lots of pre-training and our names are on the waiting list of desired marathon. For now, we will continue with our training plan unless we hear that there is no hope of getting in.

I started looking at other options just in case we have to readjust our plans. Don't you worry... we are running a stinking marathon! It might not be our originally planned date or event but we will continue down the path. We were wanting to run the Texas Marathon for a couple of reasons:
First, the emotional attachment to Houston. Houston is just home for my kiddo's. Manda is a senior and marathon training is a big part of her "Senior Year". We have been dreaming of this for quite some time and it was going to be considered her senior trip to return back "home" and run our first marathon on home territory.
Second, my emotional attachment to FLAT ground to run my first marathon. Northern Idaho seems to be one giant hill after another. The only way to escape hill training is to do all your running on a treadmill. Otherwise, you are bound to find some hills. Trust me, I look for the flattest area that I can find to run on but if I want to be outside I am either going to have to run some hills or just do circles on the track. No thanks! I am certain that I would get bored on the track, not to mention, I would most likely lose count of how many times that I have gone around. A little extra burning in the leg is worth it to run on the trails that we have found. We just can't complain about the scenery. It is a little slice of Heaven. Having said that, I am still holding on to hope that we will somehow get into the Texas Marathon and be able to run our flat marathon in the mildly warm temps of January in South Texas.
If we can't get into OUR marathon, we could plan (and register right away) for a half marathon that runs in March in South Texas and run a full marathon here in Idaho in May/June. One of the challenges that we have found in the marathon world is that most marathons run on a Sunday. Sunday is a holy day for us and is our Sabbath. So, the challenge is finding a full marathon that runs on a Saturday and won't kill us with giant hills. Big lesson learned: Register as soon as they open up an event for registration. One of these days I will learn and I will actually stop procrastinating. =)

Week Two Wrap-Up: Mentally Challenged

Week two has come to an end and we are happy to have survived. Being so inexperienced at the whole running thing, each week brings tons of lessons. I have gone into this whole ordeal knowing that I am physically challenged and thinking that the struggle was going to be getting my body to do the physical requirements. What I have found already is that marathon training is equally as mentally challenging. This week I have been all over the map mentally. I have gone from a high of completing a 5K and NOT being the last person to finish (my first event to not have the crowd join me at the end.... sigh of relief) and feeling stronger each day to the low of thinking that this is the most ridiculous idea that I have ever come up with and wanting to quit.

I went "running" with my hubby this week and found that to be very mentally discouraging. Not that he meant it to be in any way and probably isn't aware of how much it affected me (uhhh.... until he reads this post, lol). Poor guy- as usual, he is just trying to help. I know that I am the slowest "runner" that most people will ever meet in their life time, it is just the way it is. In fact it has become a joke over the last couple of years that "I run in jogging position at walking speed". Sammy, my youngest son, even asked me once, "Mom, why do you walk faster than you run?" The innocence of a child. I can laugh most of the time at this. I guess I was getting a little more confident as I have trained and I am used to running with Amanda who will get ahead of me and then very kindly jog in place (or back to me) while I catch up. Well, when Rick went with me he decided that it was just easier to walk quickly next to me. Only occasionally would he have to "jog" a step of two to keep up. And I mean quite literally... a step or two at the most... and that wasn't often! This became very discouraging to me. It made me question the whole thing and think about how ridiculous this all is. Who am I fooling? The answer kept creeping in my head... myself.

This is a place that I have found myself in before. I have to keep asking, "Who am I doing this for?" and "What is my purpose?" The "Who" part is really a two-fold answer. I am doing this for myself, to strengthen my body and mind but I am also doing this for my family and all those that are dearest to me. I want to be healthy and strong and do all I can to be there for them and be able to see them grow. In all reality, for that to happen there has to be a physical change that takes place and I have to make my health more of a priority. The "What is my purpose" part is equally as complicated to answer. Health, regular training schedule, accomplishing a personal goal, doing something that so few in our society ever try, spending time with my sweet daughter... are all good answers and all play a part. The most honest answer is probably "just to prove to myself that I can accomplish something that is so personally challenging taking one step at a time". Why do I have to keep measuring my success based on another person's success? So what if I am the slowest person in the event.... I am doing it, right? I am getting healthier and stronger in the process. I am achieving my goal. Now, how do I really get that into my brain? I am not sure, I guess just keep taking one step at a time.

This week was equally challenging for my darling running partner. I am sharing WAY more on here than my comfort zone but I want this to be completely honest, so that when we look back we remember the lessons that we have learned and the process of learning them. Manda just had one of those difficult "growing up" weeks. It was EXTREMELY emotional and difficult. I think it just all caught up with her during our long run on Saturday and she began to crumble. The run was just hard and felt a little bit symbolic of how life was feeling. I have found that the first mile to a mile and a half is ALWAYS difficult for me, if I push through it my lungs will begin to relax and there comes a point that jogging is joyful. I was just getting to that point, feeling the joy and I realized that my running partner that is always in the lead was WAY behind me. I felt good, so I just kept going.

It wasn't long before I came to an obstacle in the path that was going to require me to turn around and jog the other direction. I decided this was a good opportunity to see why Manda was being so slow. I headed back her way and found her in complete shambles. I asked her, "What is going on?". She could hardly speak and just said, "I can't do it, it is just too hard". I wish I could say that I was sympathetic and sensitive to what was really going on inside of her. I wasn't. I quickly told her to stop letting her mind control her body and kept going. Wow... one of my finer mothering moments, eh? I was irritated that right when I got to the part that was easier for me, she broke down.

There are so many life lessons to learn every day. I am grateful for a quiet, loving, still small voice that speaks to me and continually teaches me. Some say this is your conscious, some say a motherly intuition but as for me, I believe it is the voice of a very holy and sacred spiritual guide called the Holy Ghost. As I continued to run and be irritated instead of loving and understanding I couldn't help but have flashes of all the times that she ran next to me when I go tremendously below her speed. I thought of all the mornings (and evenings) that she was the one next to me encouraging me not to give up. More than once she would go get my inhaler that I carelessly left behind and a million other things without complaint or being critical of me. Here I was so caught up in myself that I left her alone feeling defeated.

I was humbled and ashamed of myself that I had to be reminded of all that she has done for me. I stopped running and went back to her once again and this time with a different heart. I hugged her and told her that we would just stick together and do whatever she needed. She put her chin up, took a few steps, gave it her all just to breath in and out steadily. I heard a few gasps for air and she fought the sobs that kept trying to escape and my heart broke for her. Once again in life she showed me what she is made of. When things are difficult for her, she holds her head up and keeps going. By the third mile she was back to her normal pace (way ahead of me) and very considerately jogging in place and waiting patiently for me to catch up. By the fifth mile she was climbing in a tree to pick her mom an apple as she waited for me. By the sixth mile, she was cheering me on telling me how proud she was of me and what a great job I was doing as she was waiting at our finishing marker. If the only thing I ever gain from the marathon training is realizing how blessed I am to have such a wonderful daughter, then it is all worth it.

Shaping Your Own Reality

"Change your thoughts or actions and you can change your reality"
p 31 The Non Runner's Marathon Trainer

It didn't take long to figure out my theme for the week. By 6:45 am I had already had a bowl of oatmeal and several HUGE servings of self-doubt. I was thinking "Why did I start that dumb blog?" It was kinda like the morning of my first 5K, it would be so easy to slip back into my little cave and disappear. If I hadn't announced it to the entire world that I was going to complete this marathon I wouldn't feel like such a quitter if I changed my mind and chose not to do it! =)

Several thoughts kept running through my mind, none of which were positive or self empowering. I had an internal recording of every negative thing that I have heard or thought. I kept getting stuck on something that I heard last weekend during the 5K... and it wasn't even directed towards me at all but I was having a hard time shaking it. I happened to be jogging near a man talking to his wife and he made a passing remark that I have no idea in what context he meant it, saying "Well, a real runner would complete this under 30 minutes". I have no idea what they were even talking about, I only bring this up to show you how easy it is to take something that someone else says and impose it upon ourselves. The thought kept running through me, "Who are you trying to fool?" and " You know you are not a REAL runner and never will be". It continued with thoughts such as "Do you really think that YOU can EVER run 26 miles?"

Not only was I gorging myself with self doubt but this happened to be the training day that I was by myself running. Manda, my running partner had gone with some friends on a pretty intense mountain bike trail so I was going to have to get through this on my own. At this point I knew that I was at a pivotal point and had to choose to be successful or choose to drop my dream... but it was MY choice. I remembered the mental training from last week and told myself that I was going to welcome the struggle, create positive thoughts to energize myself and keep my legs moving. My breathing was a real struggle and couldn't seem to get it stabilized but I was determined not to stop. I started remembering the quote in my favorite training book;

"Change your thoughts or actions and you can change your reality"

p 31 The Non Runner's Marathon Trainer

This is a lesson that I had learned earlier in life and knew that it was within my capability to change my own reality. It's funny that I drew strength from something that didn't even have anything at all to do with running. I was thinking about when Rick and I had made the choice to homeschool our children and the confrontation that we ran into. There was one particular lady who decided it was her job to guide us and protect us from the decision that we were making. When she realized that we were quite serious about our choice to homeschool she made the comment, "What do you think you are doing? You are just removing them from reality and they aren't going to be able to deal with it when they are older." At first, I was just shocked that she felt the need to speak so boldly and didn't know how to respond. It didn't take long for me to come to my senses and I learned a lesson that sunk in deeply and can be applied to many different aspects of my life. It was simply that I was not removing the ability of my children to deal with reality, I was changing their reality. I learned then that many times we choose to live a reality because it is comfortable- it is what we know or those around us know- but it is not the only reality available to us. Our thoughts and our actions really do determine our reality.

Having already tested this principal in my life and finding it to be a true one, I now need to apply it to my running. I may just get the world record for being the "slowest" runner but it is my feet, legs and lungs that are making it happen. I am doing it, therefore, in reality I am a "real runner". I am in the process of testing the mental application of changing my thoughts and experiencing a physical reaction. I can tell you that so far, so good. For the rest of my 4 mile run I worked at feeding myself positive thoughts such as "I am getting stronger with every step" and "I can run a marathon if I train... and that is what I am doing" and "Keep going, your breathing will stabilize". It worked. After 15 WHOLE minutes of struggling to get control my lungs finally relaxed and I was able to jog every single step of the 4 miles without stopping one single step!! When my legs started to hurt, I just smiled and did exactly what my training manual told me. I welcomed the pain and told it that I was happy to feel it. It just meant that I was getting stronger and one step closer to being ready to run my marathon. It was the best run of my entire life so far. Not that I improved on time at all, but I struggled, overcame and conquered. AND, I did it all on my own. By 8:00 am, I had changed my reality.

Week One Wrap-Up

Week two starts in the morning but as for tonight, I am enjoying the last few minutes of my "Day of Rest". Surprisingly, I am not sore today. I figured that after all the hill climbing during the 5K I would be hurting today because I was feeling it yesterday. I was also a little concerned when in my last mile ( keep in mind that Manda and I had to run 2 extra miles after the 5K to complete our long run) I started having a pain in my stomach and felt like I was going to throw up. Not pleasant to hear about I know... but not pleasant to feel either. Just two days before the 5K we did a four mile run that wasn't bad at all. I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so bad going 5 miles? Besides, I have ran 5 miles before and didn't get sick.

Manda informed me that I was turning bright red and didn't look good, she suggested that we stop and walk. Even after walking for several minutes I couldn't shake the sick feeling and pain in my stomach. I made it back to the car and drove the entire 1 mile back home, stretched out well and planted myself on the couch where I remained in pain for several hours. 3-4 hours later I found myself in cold chills, I was concerned that I was having heart issues or something. By 8pm my stomach had continued hurting and I had resolved that I was lucky enough to catch the stomach virus that is wildly taking over the town. It was confirmed thatI had a bug by midnight when other members of the family starting feeling ill and having pain. Isn't it sad that I was so happy to see my family get sick and figure out that it was a stomach bug and not some horrific heart condition? By 4AM I was feeling great, by 9AM I felt just a little guilty smiling watching the rest of the family in misery.

Now, I have made it through a sickness that just so happened to fall on my "Day of Rest" and won't throw me off this next weeks training schedule. Hopefully my running partner will feel better by morning too! I am looking forward to breaking my own training record. I have never ran at one time over 5 1/2 miles, this next week the long run is 6 miles! I have been overwhelmed in support of friends and family. I can't believe how many of you are reading the blog... Oh boy, the pressure is really on now! =)

So many of you have expressed the desire to run also... DO IT!!! It is so gratifying to see your body get stronger. Thank you for your kind words, understanding and support. I can't emphasize enough how much I recommend the Non Runners Marathon Trainer. It is exceptional. It is worth the money, get it on Amazon for cheap or you can even download it right to your computer. I have several copies and it downloaded too! That's saying something if you know how cheap I am.

I have had several friends send me questions, I would like to address a few of them here just in case anyone else is wondering but too afraid to ask in a public forum. One is "What if I seriously can't run for 1 minute?" So what, either could I! (read post 2) One of my favorite sayings comes from a training book that I read early on by John "The Penguin" Bingham, it reads:

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start."

My sister asked me about shin splints. Amazingly, I have never experienced them. However, I am one of those freaks that has to read about everything and then try to heed it all- it can be brain numbing and paralyzing but it is the way I am wired! So, I took it very, very, very slow to start. I started with 20-30 minutes of running a few seconds and then walking. Usually shin splints happen early in training due to over training or later due to over training. Well, no worries there... I couldn't even go fast enough or far enough to over train. My breathing was a much bigger concern (due to my asthma) than the worry of getting shin splints.

Once I was able to sustain a mile though there were other physical barriers for me to get past. Such as my knee hurting and my hip hurting. Yes, I realize that I sound like an old lady. "Oh, my hip hurts and my knee is killing". I was concerned that I was just too heavy for my body to take any kind of running. Thankfully, my training manuals saved me again. What I found out the hard and painful way is the importance of good running shoes.

Did I already mention how incredibly CHEAP I am? My philosophy has always been, "I love Wally World". Low price = me happy! Not when it comes to running shoes. I went out on a limb, even though I couldn't really believe that shoes could make a difference with my hip or knee, I decided to give it a try. I did some research, felt like I kinda had an idea of what I wanted and hit the sporting goods store. It was one of those moments again that I felt out of place and insecure. My mind began going through that insecure process of saying "You don't really belong in here". I was worried about asking for help for fear of the sales clerk thinking "She doesn't really think that she can run, does she?". It is funny how many things we impose on ourselves that are just so negative. For all I REALLY knew they may have been thinking "Good for you, you go girl!". Besides what it all comes down to is what I am thinking, not anyone else. This was something that I needed and I could not let my own insecurities hinder me from buying a silly pair of shoes.

I tried on tons of shoes until I found a pair that was in my comfort zone both physically and financially. They were on sale and I was happy. If I remember correctly, they were on sale for somewhere around $45-50, normally $70.

Now if any of you are wondering, the shoes made a HUGE difference! I am happy to report that my hip has not hurt since then. I am sure that I have need to improve my stance when running and I have probably put some undue pressure on one hip ( since it was only one side that ever hurt) but with good shoes that help balance, the pain is gone. My knee pain is only occasional and is quickly resolved taking a Glucosamine/Chondroitin supplement. My girls have taken it also and had great success with it. My little brother once asked me about my knees and I told him the same thing. He laughed at me and said "You take joint juice?" I nervously looked at him and said, "I am not sure what you mean by that but yes, if we are talking about the same thing, but in pill form". He chuckled. To this day I am not sure what was so funny but I can tell you that it works! I get my joint supplement from the "W" supercenter that I love so much, and it works great.

I am learning as I go. Hopefully, this blog will not only keep me accountable and on task but it might save you from a few of the pains/mistakes I made along the way. Thanks again for your support. For those of you who are finding the courage to begin to run, "You go Girl!" or "You go Dude!". See you on the trail!

WEEK ONE

It has been a long journey just to get to week one of our 16 week training program. It was a few years ago that the seed was planted. I would like to say that I have been consistent with running but I haven't. I can say that I have consistently had the desire to improve and keep running. So over the last few years we have fallen off the running waggon but we have continually picked ourselves up and EVENTUALLY started running again.





There was another year that I was determined that we were going to run. Unfortunately, for many years I have fought infections in my lungs. I would have coughing fits that would last for months at times and many years I have ended up in the hospital due to my breathing problems. We had begun our training at one point but only a few weeks into it I was very ill and required hospitalization again. It was frustrating and I admit that I questioned if I would really ever be well enough to run a marathon.





It is a couple of years later and we now live a lot further north without the humidity, pollen and pollution that we had become accustomed to in Houston. Last year was the first year in 13 years that I did not battle my sickness. It was encouraging and has filled me with hope all over again that I can train for a marathon. So far, so good. We have made it through moving, winter with no sickness, summer and our oldest child getting married, starting a new homeschooling program that has been very time consuming and we are still right on track for our training schedule. It has been a lot of pre training to get us back to the point that we were at before but we are here and we are committed. Amanda is a senior, I am going to turn 40 and this IS our year.

This blog is to keep me accountable and to let everyone know that I am committed! Keep me on my toes... don't hesitate to give me that "not-so-gentle push" when I need it. Thanks for the support, it has been a long journey just to get this far. I can't wait to see that finish line!






WEEK ONE:

We are doing a 4 day a week training plan. The first week is 3, 4, 3, 5 miles. It is a total of 15 miles this week. We are happy to report that we have succeeded. This morning we ran a 5K that a member of our ward put together. We knew going in that we were going to have to do the 5K and then keep going 2 plus miles as we had scheduled our long run for today. It was a little harder than expected largely due to the fact that the 5K had some hill running that we don't usually do. Fortunately for us, the marathon that we are training for is in Houston around a lake and is nice and FLAT! So, we did finish our long run and logged all our 15 miles for the week but it was certainly more difficult than we had thought. Each day we are feeling a little stronger and look forward to our runs.

Marathon Training.... Finally

When I first started to run it certainly was never in my thought process that I would EVER try a marathon. Who does that? Crazy people! Even though one of the very first books that I read was "Running With Angels", by Pam Hansen who I found great strength from reading her book. It is a story of an overweight lady who is determined to run a marathon and her year long journey of training to make it happen and her weight loss in the process. Me even reading the book was somewhat of an accident. I had a good friend who told me about a book that she ran across that is great motivation for losing weight. She also told me that it was kind of neat to read because it was a lady that she served a mission with years ago and asked if I would like to read it. I said yes, only due to the losing weight factor, but at no point thought that I would ever desire to run a marathon.

One of the things that Pam Hansen suggested was reading a book called the Non Runners Marathon Trainer. I decided to read it just to get some tips for completing my mini-TRI, which seemed like a marathon to me. An amazing thing happened as I picked up that book and turned the pages. Somewhere in the back of my mind came this teeny-tiny desire and belief that I could actually set my goals for a marathon. I pushed it away and continued to read the book just for the positive mental training and running tips. It wasn't too long after that when I was doing a training run with my "partner" Amanda that she said, "I would like to run a marathon someday Mom, we should do it together." I laughed, she looked at me and said, "I am not kidding". It was then that I made that fatal mistake of agreeing to do that with her someday. I even went so far (feeling a little confident from reading again) that I thought we could do it before she graduated from high school. Who knew 4 years would fly by so quickly?